


This Sucks!

by vcg73



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Kurt/Sebastian Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:29:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcg73/pseuds/vcg73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sebastian hits a snag in his relationship, it's his best friend and roomie Kurt whom he turns to for advice. Kurt-Sebastian friendship for a friend who requested "fluffy kadam or kurtbastian” to make a sucky day better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Sucks!

"This day sucks! It sucks balls, it sucks dick, it sucks ass! Did I mention that this days sucks? Because it really sucks.”

Kurt looked up from his homework, raising an eyebrow as his roommate came crashing into the apartment, yelling complaints at the top of his voice.

"Gee, Sebastian. Something tells me that today must have sucked for you," he said evenly, treating the other man to a bland, unimpressed look when he turned and glared at him. "Although maybe it wasn’t all that bad. I happen to know through Elliott, who really needs to quit sharing details with me, that you very much like having all of those body parts sucked."

Sebastian flipped him off and went into the kitchen, crashing dishes around for the sake of expressing his emotions as he fixed a snack and a cup of espresso. He made a point of pulling his ‘secret’ stash of cognac out of the cabinet over the stove and waving it at Kurt before pouring a generous dollop into his cup.

"It sucked tits," he said as he threw himself into the chair across from Kurt’s.

Realizing that he was not going to get any more studying done until proper attention was paid to his friend’s calamity, Kurt closed his laptop and pushed it aside, lacing his fingers atop the table and giving Sebastian his full attention. “Spill.”

Happy to finally have his personal tragedy getting the focus it deserved, Sebastian heaved a put-upon sigh and dramatically tore off a big hunk of peanut butter toast. He chewed it slowly, in loud, lip-smacking fashion, until Kurt stood up and reached across the table to give him a slap up the side of his head.

"That’s disgusting and you’re being a drama-queen. Now, please get on with it. I have a lot of cramming to do tonight."

"You didn’t tell me. Adam coming over tonight?"

"Sebastian."

A lecherous smile twisted his lips, bringing a sparkle of enjoyment back to his stormy green eyes. “Because the last time he was here, you two were cramming all night long. Pretty sure you both passed the test that night.”

"Sebastian, get to the point or I will hurt you. Why did your day suck so much that you’re pouting like a five year old?"

"I lost my pen."

Kurt blinked. “Excuse me?”

"My mont blanc?"

Vaguely, Kurt waved a hand and said, “Yes?”

Sebastian huffed in annoyance. “The lucky pen my mom gave me; the one I always use for essay questions on exams.”

"Oh, right," Kurt said, remembering now. "Did you ever find it?"

"No!" he snarled. "I had to borrow a pen from some ugly dude-bro with crossed eyes and the body-odor of a wet yak, who took my request for an invitation to sit with me. Asshole kept breathing the whole time I was taking my test."

Kurt clucked his tongue. “How inconsiderate. Breathing! Why couldn’t he have just held it for 90 minutes until class was over?”

"Hey, if you had smelled the swamp fumes coming out of that mouth, you’d wouldn’t be laughing. Some dentist could make a fortune off that guy. It was so distracting that I fucked up my test."

"The prof graded them already?"

"Well, no, but I’m sure I fucked up. And then that stupid cheap pen sprang a leak and pissed all over my new tie!"

At this, Kurt finally looked genuinely distressed. “Not the new Hugo Boss that you got for your birthday!” Sebastian nodded. “Damn it, I loved that tie.”

Looking a bit disgruntled that Kurt should be more upset by a ruined accessory than a rotten day, Sebastian crunched the remainder of his toast in sulky silence. Finally, however, he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"I got away from Stinky the Clown and went to the men’s room to check my tie. There was no saving it, unfortunately, so I tossed it and undid a couple of shirt buttons. Casual is good on me."

Kurt nodded, assuaging his bad mood a little. “Yes, it is.”

"I looked good," he said, agreeing with himself smugly. Then his smile dropped. "Too good, as it turned out. You know that I’ve been doing my best to rein in the animal magnetism since Elliott and I became official."

"It was a sacrifice we all learned to endure," Kurt agreed solemnly, but with a twinkle of amusement in his eye.

Sebastian grimaced. “You’re doing another ‘I told you so’, aren’t you?”

Blue eyes wide and innocent, Kurt pressed a hand to his chest. “Moi?” Then he smirked. “Is it my fault that I saw the spark between you two the second I introduced you? Do you really regret following my advice to tone down the slime and be yourself with him? Seems to me you guys have been pretty happy since you went from casual hook-ups to steady boyfriends.”

"Don’t remind me," he grumbled, mouth twitching into a reluctant smile when Kurt merely laughed. "Anyway, I came out of the men’s room looking totally hot and fuckable. Hey, don’t roll those big Bambi eyes at me; the mirror don’t lie. And of course the first person I ran into was Peter Pecker."

"Pete Feckler," Kurt corrected impatiently. "I wish you wouldn’t call him that. You know how I feel about mocking nicknames. We agreed not to do that anymore."

"With each other," Sebastian protested. "The rest of the world that I don’t share a bathroom with is fair game. They aren’t gonna sneak in and relieve me of an eyebrow if they get pissed off."

Kurt smiled. “You had fair warning.”

"I looked like a science experiment for six weeks."

"You deserved it. Now, back to Feckler."

"Okay, yeah, so anyway Pete’s junk comes around the corner, followed a minute or so later by Pete, and the first thing he sees is me, the guy he’s been chasing all semester with no success. My shirt is halfway unbuttoned, my hair is a mess because where ever I left my mont blanc my comb is apparently keeping it company, and I’ve got a bead of water running down my chest from splashing my face. I might as well have had "Let’s Get it On" playing in the background. That horny fucker looks at me like all his wet dreams have come true and makes a pass at me."

Kurt chuckled. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but makes a pass? You make yourself sound like a girl in some sixties date movie.”

"Fuck you," Sebastian said with no heat. "Actually, fucking anyone, including the mouth-breather from my history final, would be a step up from being groped in a hallway by a guy whose brain is half the size of his dick."

Kurt snorted a little. “If your high school self could hear you now. Didn’t that used to be what you looked for in a guy?”

Sebastian squirmed. “What? You’re the only person whose taste is allowed to mature with age? Elliott is smart, okay? He’s hot, handsome, talented, sexy … all of which is awesome, don’t get me wrong, but when he puts on his glasses and talks books it totally turns me on. Who knew I had a thing for brainy guys?”

The smile on Kurt’s face was understanding and a bit tender. “I think you just have a thing for Elliott Gilbert.”

"What do you know?" he mumbled, knowing it was true but not wanting to give Kurt the satisfaction. "So there I am, fending off octopus-boy and about two seconds away from punching him right in the junk, when Elliott shows up. Bastard totally misinterprets what he’s seeing and instead of getting mad at Pete, he gets mad at me! I didn’t even get a chance to explain before we were yelling at each other and picking every scab we could find just to make each other bleed. I …”

Kurt put a hand on his arm, all teasing vanished from his expression. “What happened?”

Suddenly, Sebastian looked devastated. “I think we might have just broken up.”

"Did he say that?" Kurt gasped. "Did you?"

"Not … I don’t …" Sebastian slumped forward, head in his hands. "I’m not sure. All I know is that I said I didn’t want to see him and he stormed off. I meant I didn’t want to see him tonight, Kurt. For our date night. I didn’t mean forever."

Kurt squeezed his forearm. “Don’t worry. It’s your first big fight and you’re both mad and hurt and really touchy, but you can get through this. He really cares about you. He won’t give up that easily.”

"He might, if he really believes I’d give Pickle Pete a shot. Who am I kidding, this boyfriend thing was too good to last anyway. I might as well go back to picking up losers in gay bars."

A smile lifted Kurt’s grave expression. “Oh, no you don’t. You aren’t giving up at the first hurdle. Just cool off, play some video games and try not to worry. I need to call Adam. Leave everything to us. We’ll fix this.”

Sebastian snorted, not believing his claim for a moment. “Sure.”

~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Kurt personally escorted his roommate to Elliott’s apartment. “Do you remember what to do?”

Sebastian shifted the vase of stargazer lilies in his hands. “Give him the flowers, though I still don’t get why I’m apologizing when he’s the jerk who jumped to the wrong conclusion, tell him what happened, and if he acts like he’s listening, say I’m sorry. Are you sure this isn’t overkill? Like you said, it’s only our first fight.”

"Do you want it to be your last?" Kurt asked sweetly.

"Flowers, explanation, apology, got it."

"Good," Kurt said, helpfully ringing the doorbell.

The door opened but it was not Elliot who answered. Sebastian fell back a pace in surprise. “Oh, um, hi Adam.”

The British man flashed him a bright smile and gave him a pat on the back as they exchanged places in the doorway. “All yours, mate. Riddled with guilt and soft as a wedge of brie. Go get him!”

"Stick with the plan," Kurt warned, seeing the smirk already forming at Adam’s words. "You both acted like dumb-asses. You both need to apologize."

Sebastian heaved a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. “You take all the fun out of everything. You suck, Kurt.”

Kurt winked at him. “No, Sebastian. Tonight that’s your job.”

Adam made a show of looking thoughtful. “Although, if you’re not going back to the flat tonight…”

"All yours, bud," Sebastian chuckled. "Consider it my way of saying thanks for butting in like the pair of nosy old nanny-goats you are."

Kurt stuck out his tongue. Adam made a bleating noise that somehow reeked of self-satisfaction. He was happy to have helped reconcile the two friends who had become almost as dear to him as they were to Kurt.

"Oh, by the way," Adam said, rummaging in his bag. "Thanks for letting me borrow this the other day. I nearly walked off with it again."

Sebastian’s mouth fell open as his beloved mont blanc pen was placed in his palm. “Shit,” he whispered. “I loaned it to you for luck on your new rental application. I totally forgot.”

"It worked, too," Adam told him happily. "I got the word this morning that I’ve got a new flat waiting for me in your building come next month. Great rate too! Thanks again."

"His pleasure. Thank you, boys. On your way," Elliott interrupted, coming out to join them. Kurt and Adam grinned and waved goodbye, arms linking around one anothers waists as they departed.

Elliott’s eyes fell on the flowers in Sebastian’s hand and his expression immediately softened. “Are those for me?”

Sebastian handed them over. “Peter Porker is a douchebag and I would never let that dick near me, literally or figuratively. I’m sorry for all the shitty things I said to you yesterday.”

"Me too," Elliott said meekly. "I never should have said any of it, and I didn’t mean it. Feckler’s been taunting me every chance he gets about how you deserve a rich, well-connected guy like him instead of a sloppy scholarship case like me."

Sebastian’s eyes sparked angrily. “All that means is that his daddy is an alumni who bought him into NYU, while you were smart enough to get in on your own, and without having to pay full price. I happen to think that’s sexy as hell.”

"Yeah?" Elliott asked with a grin. "Does that mean you don’t want to hear the song I wrote for you? I was thinking you’d hear it and be so overcome you’d fall right into my bed, where we could have apology sex all night long, but I could just read you a book instead."

A growl emerged from Sebastian’s throat as he pushed Elliott inside the apartment, grabbing the flower vase and setting it on the first flat surface he came to before slamming the door behind them.

Kurt could get in as many “I told you so’s” as he wanted to. Tomorrow.


End file.
